One of my favorites is "Oh, sweet honey mustard." Makes me laugh every time. First encountered in a Non-Sequitor cartoon by Wiley Miller. Yes, imitation is the best form of flattery.... god bless america!
Rereading archives, it occurs to me that Sheldon has lots of great cuss replacements. My favorite so far was used September 7, 2002: "Stick it up your Walla-Walla Washington" [sheldoncomics.com].
When my elder child was old enough to repeat things, I had to censor myself. God Bless America was one of my early favorites and one I still use now that my grandson is old enough to snicker at real curses.
However, he really busts out laughing when I say "RAT BOOGERS!"
I have no idea where that came from. One day I had managed to damage myself with either a hammer to the thumb or some other method, and went to vent my displeasure in profanity, and remembered just in time my elder daughter was present (this was about 30 years ago and she would repeat things heard at home in kindergarten). Having to change horses at the last fraction of a second in midstream isn't easy, especially when you are in pain, and that is what came out.
It still cracks up my grandson and he has been hearing it all his 12 years of life.
My first cousin says "ding-dong" instead of the usual "god-d@*&". I don't know where she picked it up but she has been doing so since we were both teenagers.
I have an Uncle who used to use "gee willikers", and my paternal grandfather used to say "son of a sea cook" or "jingle bells" or, if really worked up "jumpin' jehoshaphat" or "jiminy christmas".
As Mark Twain once said, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
When I am really angry, as when I have really mashed a thumb or done other damage to myself where a doctor may become involved, I speak in tongues. My military service sent me all over the world and humans pick up cusswords faster than anything else.
Mine has always been "Son of a motherless goat!" I have no idea where I got it, or how I made it up.
The other "That really urks my winkle" is to express annoyance and cracks my husband up.
Don't ask what a winkle is and why it's urked cause i have no idea
"Son of a motherless goat" comes from the movie "The Three Amigos" from way back in the early 80's or so...
One of my favorite CWRs (that I've heard but never use) is "got down, sat on a bench!" When said quickly, it sounds really bad...
And there's always "slag" from Best Wars (though that's apparently a real swear word in England...)
I concur with Firefly's cussing being brilliant, and advance the possibility that I'm am an even larger nerd than anyone here before me, as I often use the Star Wars profanities "Sithspawn" and "Sithspit", which I think have lovely rings to them, and people often fail to have any clue what you're talking about.
Others include "Jimminy Cricket!", assorted prospecterisms, and the Wacky Races - Mutley inspired "Rassin' Rassin' Rasslefat!"
Also, anyone here who knows Billy Connolly, the famous Scottish comedian, may recall his favoured CWR, "getifu" and "basa", which when said quickly and with intent, and a thick accent, sound almost indistinguishable from their proper counterparts.
i new fav of mine is to yell 'crab spackle!' it would be in the same category as 'hog wash' or 'bull ****' i yell it when i am displeased with a particular situation
lets see...there's a very unique curse I've seen since I've moved to Utah. "Oh my Heck"
I got a book of original Conan stories for Christmas, so my new one is "By Crom"
Another one I like came from The Man with Samuel L Jackson and Eugene Levy. Levy's character doesnt like Jackson's character saying the F-word. so he suggests everytime he says F-word to say "cryin' out loud" right after. ^_^ it's really cute.
I expected some BSG Fraks in here, but surely I'm not the only one who still uses Frell, from Farscape? Unlike BSG, Farscape had a whole galaxy of cursewords...
Farscape slang, cursewords included... [wikia.com]
The one I've heard the most is "Shut the FRONT DOOR", but whenever I "replace" swear words (uncommon), I just continue the first sound out of my mouth. If I say something that starts with "God", for example, it just comes out as "G---aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh". If it's yelled, it gets the anger out, since it just ends up as a scream anyways.
Some of the ones that come to mind:
I use DagGONNIT! alot and got ribbed at work for it. I also use combinations alot, like 'Fricka Frackin Ratzlfrazz', which to my mind sounds like Yosemite Sam falling down a cliff, but anyways...
As great as all of these are, I have to credit my sister with the best cuss-replacement I've heard to date. She adopted it midway through nursing school:
Anyone who has not had the pleasure of having a nurse in the family should note that they develop fascination with the WEIRDEST body functions/parts/fluids...which they also tend to enjoy discussing at the dinner table.
i've never been a huge fan of cursing, and have always replaced them. generally with food names for some reason. i was on the phone once to my best friend and kept walking into random objects so he kept hearing "oh fudge-a-madoojer, who put that banana popsicle bookshelf there" i had him all sorts of confused.
My Aunt Mary would say; "Well for cripes' sake almighty!"
And a friend of mine poached Bill Murray in Ghostbusters: "Mother pus bucket!"
A semi-replacement I heard from a Catholic was; "Up a nun's bloomers!"
I go for classic Tourettes Guy.
"AW, BOB SAGET!"
"BOB STINKING SAGET!"
"SAGET ME? WELL SAGET YOU BUDDY!"
Like the ham comic, it kind of loses meaning around the third utterance.
"CHEESE AND RICE!" I also enjoy saying "BY THE POWER OF GREYSKULL!". Btw, this is my first time posting and I actually created an account to post on this subject, although I have been reading the blogs and Sheldon for quite some time. I figured now would be a great time to say "Hello" to everyone for the first time and tell you that I enjoy Sheldon immensely!!!
I have also been known to yell out mother and use the old Flintstones standby brakka frakka etc....
My brother uses quan and quanbag, but I have no idea what they mean. His wife HATES it when he does but I suspect she doesn't know what they mean either.