Buy the poor lizard an electric rock.
My gosh, it's my Dad! And when I lock the thermostat, "squee!" wouldn't even be the opening salvo...
They don't know how this is happening, so the order has to be modified -
1) Webcam on thermostat
3) "Why the heck didn't you say something?" "Squeee, squuuuueeee!"
4) Electric Hot Rock.