I think this conflict is mostly an illusion.
The situation is being tightly controlled by the publishers. Library eBooks have tight DRM controls involving time-outs and a very limited number of copies.
Whatever fees the publishers are charging are causing local libraries to strictly limit their back catalog of eBooks.
So in the end, they've artificially created a situation that's basically the same as what used to occur naturally :
1) If you want a new release, you're going on a waiting list.
2) If you want an older book, only the most popular books will be easily available in eBook format.
3) In either case, you'd better finish with it in 21 days.
In short, if you can afford to buy an ebook you probably will buy it to avoid the hassle, but if you can't afford it you'll probably get it from the library.
This is basically ideal for the publisher. They get money from everyone they can get money from, and everyone else can still contribute to the book's "buzz".